I came across one of my old Notes databases today...ah nostaliga...
Category None
It had never been optimized for the web as it was pre Domino, and pre most people knowing what the web was. It never had anything done to it to work on the web, but it actually does work on the web, it was built circa 1994 when I was a Senior Systems Engineer in Manchester, England as a demo for somebody (humour is a great sales tool). Looking through it I did find this joke, and still totally relevant today...
The world of computer terms as seen from a Marketing point of view.
ALL NEW The software is not compatible with previous versions
ADVANCED DESIGN Upper management doesn't understand it
BREAKTHROUGH It nearly booted on the first try
NEW Different colours from previous version
DESIGN SIMPLICITY Developed on a shoe string budget
EXCLUSIVE We're the only ones who have the documentation
FIELD TESTED Manufacturing doesn't have a test system
FOOLPROOF OPERATION All parameters are hard coded
FUTURISTIC It will only run on the next generation super-computer
HIGH ACCURACY All the directories compare
IT'S HERE AT LAST We've released a 26 week project in 48 weeks
MAINTENANCE FREE Impossible to fix
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS It compiles without errors
PERFORMANCE PROVEN Works through Beta Test
REVOLUTIONARY Disk drives go round and round
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED We'll send you another copy if it fails
STOCK ITEM We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably
UNMATCHED Almost as good as the competition
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE Nothing ever ran this slow before
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT We finally got one to work
It had never been optimized for the web as it was pre Domino, and pre most people knowing what the web was. It never had anything done to it to work on the web, but it actually does work on the web, it was built circa 1994 when I was a Senior Systems Engineer in Manchester, England as a demo for somebody (humour is a great sales tool). Looking through it I did find this joke, and still totally relevant today...
The world of computer terms as seen from a Marketing point of view.
ALL NEW The software is not compatible with previous versions
ADVANCED DESIGN Upper management doesn't understand it
BREAKTHROUGH It nearly booted on the first try
NEW Different colours from previous version
DESIGN SIMPLICITY Developed on a shoe string budget
EXCLUSIVE We're the only ones who have the documentation
FIELD TESTED Manufacturing doesn't have a test system
FOOLPROOF OPERATION All parameters are hard coded
FUTURISTIC It will only run on the next generation super-computer
HIGH ACCURACY All the directories compare
IT'S HERE AT LAST We've released a 26 week project in 48 weeks
MAINTENANCE FREE Impossible to fix
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS It compiles without errors
PERFORMANCE PROVEN Works through Beta Test
REVOLUTIONARY Disk drives go round and round
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED We'll send you another copy if it fails
STOCK ITEM We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably
UNMATCHED Almost as good as the competition
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE Nothing ever ran this slow before
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT We finally got one to work
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Comments
Made me laugh out loud, just like it did in the early 90s.
Thanks
RoB
Posted by Roberto Boccadoro At 01:06:03 PM On 09/12/2007 | - Website - |
Looking back into it, there were some good ones in there.
Rupert
Posted by rupert At 05:35:50 AM On 09/15/2007 | - Website - |