A funny sent to me by a friend this morning...
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I'm sure a few people will miss the irony and the dripping sarcasm in this post, but that can't be helped...
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the security level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross'
Londoners have not been 'a bit cross' since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance"
The last time a "a bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'RUN' to 'HIDE'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".
Finally in GB they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
I'm sure a few people will miss the irony and the dripping sarcasm in this post, but that can't be helped...
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the security level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross'
Londoners have not been 'a bit cross' since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance"
The last time a "a bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.
Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'RUN' to 'HIDE'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".
Finally in GB they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
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Comments
This could be re-written to be a bit better. After any attack on us, we historically have changed from "isolationism" to "what dumbasses gutted the military in favor of budget this time?"
Our remaining alert states (keeping the same sarcastic tone) would be "everyone wants democracy even if we have to ram it down their throats" and "Ever read "On the Beach? - Perhaps you should"
ok, not the greatest, but maybe someone else can give it a shot.
Posted by jon johnston At 01:13:41 PM On 09/28/2005 | - Website - |