Carl Tyler's Blog

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I am now back in New Hampshire, after quite an eventful trip back. Sometimes I think people who laugh at other people have bad things happen to them, yesterday it was my turn. There are certain things that always happen when you travel, and some of these things always make me laugh, partly because it shows how stupid fellow human beings can be, and other times because it's just plain funny. So when flying you will always see someone getting on the plane, looking at their ticket and walking about 20 rows past their seat, to then watch them fight the other people coming down the isle, and yes this makes me laugh even though the idiot that walked 20 rows past their seat is getting frustrated and irritating the other passengers. Perhaps they didn't realize the seats are in numerical order, and that seat A is always on the left of the plane facing forward, anyway I did laugh at this, so bad karma build up number one.

Then during the flight if you're lucky the copilot comes out of the cockpit, walks to the seats next to the wing and looks out the window at the engines. This is always funny as you know what's going to happen, the pilot looks out the window, all of a sudden in unison almost every passenger thinks oh shit we're going down, where's the Nun with the guitar and the kid waiting for a new kidney. The copilot says nothing and walks back to the cockpit and closes the door. At this point, eyes never leave the window, they buzzers for the flight attendants go off and people are generally freaked out. Personally I think this is the pilot just having some fun, on a long boring flight, perhaps it's my sense of humour, but when I was flying and I'd take a friend up we'd always have a high reading or a strange noise from the engine, so I had to laugh at all these people who started praying to be saved. So my Karma points were now very much against me.

So with this in mind, to get on the flight initially with the dog all had gone well, we got to the airport in plenty of time had all the paperwork and the ticket. My tickets were a little strange as they had me going form Paris to JFK and then Newark to Boston, this sadly is a problem with most airlines computer booking systems today in that they consider JFK, La Guardia and Newark as a single New York airport even though they are miles apart. Not a problem I thought, we'll get checked through and get the bus between the airports. On my flight (probably after laughing at the ninny who couldn't find her seat) I realized the folks in Paris had not given me a boarding pass for Newark to Boston and the bags and dog were only checked through to JFK, oh well I can sort that out when I land. Landed, immigration and customs all went well. Time to visit the connecting flights desk.

"Yes Mr Tyler, they haven't checked you through all the way as Newark is a different airport"
"uhm yeah what do I care? I bought a ticket to Boston, it's your problem to get me there. how about a flight from JFK to Boston?"
"Well we have flights to Boston from JFK, but we can't put you on those because they are standby and you have a dog"
"OK, so what do you suggest?"
"I would get a cab to La Guardia and they should be able to fly you from there as they have 7 seats available"
"can you not confirm that here and give me a ticket?"
"No"
"OK, so just to confirm here, I go to La Guardia, and I want to be very clear here, they are not going to tell me, oh you ticket is from Newark you should go to Newark?"
"No because La Guardia is just another New York airport"
"Hhmm I know, that's what go us in this mess"

So then I decide to go and get a cab to La Guardia, had to wait a while as the dogs crate was too big for a regular taxi. Managed to get a Cab driver "Goin" who after asking her a hundred questions I managed to wear her down and get her chatting and arrived safely at La Guardia. Which then went along these lines

"Hello how may I help you?"
"Hi I just got in from Paris, the folks in JFK told me to come here to get a flight to Boston"
"But your ticket says Newark, you should have gone to Newark, why are you here?"
"Good question, easy answer, because your fellow employee told me too, so now can you sort it out, and don't forget I have my dog?"
"OK let me see what I can do, well we have seats available, but we have a problem, your dogs crate, how big is it?"
"uhm, 36x28x27"
"Yes that is a problem, that dog crate is too big for American Eagle flights, so we can't accommodate you on our flights"
"OK, so should I go to Newark then?"
"No because they can't accommodate you either"
"OK so how come you guys have screwed this up? I called up four days before I flew to confirm the dog was checked in, all paperwork was done etc. So how come no one managed to inform me that my ticket would on;y get my dog to New York and no further?"
"I don't know"
"So what do you suggest I do?"
"Let me check, I'll be back in a moment"
a few minutes later.... "OK here's what we can do, I have spoken to US Airways who fly regular full size jets, and they can fit you in on a flight later today, the problem is you need to pay for the dog again"
"So let me get this straight, I have paid for the dog from Paris to Boston, but now I have to pay more to complete the journey cos you guys screwed up"
"yes that is correct, but I suggest you try and claim back the fee for the dog from AA when you arrive back"
"OK at least you're honest, and I just want to get home so I'll do that"

As I have two bags, a dog crate and a couple of carry ons I decide that the bus form AA to US Airways would be too much trouble and decide to push the trolley over to the US Airways terminal, as with most things, this is not a trip I think they expect most people to walk, especially with a trolley. I arrive at US Airways, all is good, check my bags in, get my seat, the dog get's checked and take away, all good. Then I hit security, take off the shoes get the bags scanned, no bleep, perfect, time to flight departure 30 minutes. "Mr Tyler please come over here and wait a moment." sure not problems I think, they probably want me to turn on my laptop...nope bad Karma has come back with a vengeance, they take me into a little side room and check out my hot bod, after getting me down to my underpants I think they realized there really was no point in going any further and let me get dressed, obviously without finding anything dangerous and never asking to turn my computer on, but I'm sure everyone feels much safer getting on the flight now. Time to flight departure 5 minutes, so I get to the gate, the gate is closed, I explain my dog is on the flight, "Oh Shit" the check-in clerk says very politely, quick phone call plane is stopped and door reopened and I get on, door closes and big fuss at the front and the door reopens, for me to get called off the plane as in fact Jessie was also searched by security and was not on the flight. Anyway, the kind folks at US Airways got me on the next flight and upgraded me to first class for my troubles, and we are back safe and sound in New Hampshire, but quite an adventure.